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致深爱的黄若松

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父亲黄若松的生平

General information about Ruosong

Ruosong Huang: 1942.12.8-2017.1.3

Ruosong was born in the beautiful sub-tropical city of Fuzhou in China. Growing up during the chaos of the Second World War and the Chinese civil war, he always dreamed of becoming a scientist who would invent faster and more efficient ways to produce iron and steel. He came a step closer to his dream when he graduated from the University of Science & Technology in Beijing as a Mechanical Engineer.

若松出生在美丽的海边城市福州。在二战和内战的炮火中成长,从小的理想是成为一名科学家。大学考取了北京钢铁学院,毕业后成为一名机械工程师。

In 1967 in Shanghai he met the woman he would spend the rest of his life with, Lin Jin.

Not long after he met Lin, Ruosong started working for the Pan Zhi Hua iron and steel plant. Pan Zhi Hua is a city in the middle of nowhere; 1000km south west of Lin’s hometown Shanghai.

1967年在上海遇到了金嶙,结为终生伴侣。不久以后若松分配到四川攀枝花钢铁厂工作。当时的攀枝花是在上海西南1000多公里处的山沟沟里。

The living conditions were so poor that as soon as Ruosong arrived, he telegraphed Lin telling not to join him. Lin followed Ruosong there nevertheless, because she knew that Ruosong was a man she could trust with her life. It must have been clear to Lin at that stage that he was a man of high aspiration and great capability.

攀枝花的生存条件非常艰苦。若松一到那里就发电报告诉嶙,劝她不要去。可是相信若松是位可以托付终身的伴侣,嶙义无反顾地跟了过去。

Life in Pan Zhi Hua was very bleak, but love made the time there much more endurable and even happy. That happy union brought forth two children, Xin and Kai, who were born during that period of time and who are here today to celebrate his memory.

在攀枝花的那些年生活的确很贫瘠,温馨的家庭生活让苦日子有了快乐。一双儿女就是在那个时候诞生的。

In 1975, due to his outstanding performance, Ruosong was chosen to be in the first group of experts to help with setting up the Wuhan iron and steel plant. His wife and two children followed him to his new battle field. Wuhan was a much more civilised city than Pan Zhi Hua, but still too far away from Lin’s home.

1975 年因出色的工作业绩,若松被选为第一批专家前往武汉进行武汉钢铁厂的建设工作。妻子和两个孩子一起跟着搬到了武汉。比起攀枝花,武汉的物质条件好了很多。但是仍然里嶙的故乡太远。

Once again Ruosong excelled at what he did and an opportunity eventually came in 1978 to join the first group of the engineers moving back to Shanghai when the Bao Steel Group corporation was established. After almost 10 years, Ruosong had finally taken Lin, and their children, back to her home town.

1978年,若松再次证明了他的工作能力,被选中作为第一批工程师派送回上海参与宝山钢铁厂的建设。至此,历经10多年,若松终于带着他的家庭回到了嶙的故乡上海。

The family lived happily in Shanghai and Ruosong made a successful mid-life career change when he requalified as an IT engineer.

一家人在上海快乐生活。1985年,已经进入不惑之年的若松决定改变职业,重新参加学习成为一名计算机工程师。

Ruosong finally retired in 2002 but instead of settling down he immigrated to New Zealand with Lin in 2009 to join his daughter, Xin. Always open minded, once in New Zealand Ruosong became involved in the Christian community and in 2013 was baptised at the Maungaraki Baptist Church. Finally, he was granted New Zealand citizenship on the 16th June 2016. New Zealand was home now.

2002 年退休后,于2009年随女儿移居新西兰安度晚年。在Maungaraki社区生活,于2013年受洗成为一名基督徒。若松热爱新西兰的生活,于2016年6月16日成为新西兰的公民。

Ruosong led a low profile life. He was kind; gentle; dedicated to his family; someone who appreciated the beauty of the natural world. He had a superb brain. He could play chess with two other players whilst wearing a blindfold and still win the game. He also loved to read and could remember all the details of every book he had ever read as a boy.

Ruosong一生做人低调、温和、执着、认真.热爱大自然花草、爱动物、能同时和两个人下盲棋.他非常喜爱读书并能记住书中的大多数细节。

As well as being a bit of an intellectual, Ruosong was a natural athlete. At university, he was a champion 100 metre sprint runner. His favourite sport was football and he played the centre-forward position. After retirement, in NZ, Ruosong slowed down a bit and became a fisherman. His new favourite sport was probably lying in the sunshine feeling its gentle warmth. Not quite as hot as Fuzhou, but still nice.

除了有一个好头脑以外,Ruosong也是体育爱好者。他曾经是北京高校百米赛跑冠军。他喜欢踢足球,踢中锋的位置。老了退休了,喜欢柔和一些的慢运动,钓鱼和旅游. 后来身体不太好了,他散步,喜欢晒太阳感受阳光的温暖。

Ruosong enjoyed life in New Zealand so much that he became determined to master the English language. He worked hard at his lessons, never neglecting to complete his homework. Through his studies and his involvement with the church, he made a lot of friends and regarded Wellington as his second home town. He made it very clear when he was dying that he wanted to remain in New Zealand. He rests now alongside his best Kiwi friend, Murray, at Taita cemetery.

若松非常喜欢新西兰,他重新开始学习英语,决意要掌握这门语言。他上课非常认真,仔细完成每一份作业。通过学习和教会活动,若松结交了很多朋友,在惠灵顿建立了自己的生活圈子,新西兰成为了他的第二故乡。他选择留在这里,和他的kiwi好朋友Murray 一起在Taita 陵园安息。

录像:黄若松最后的时光

嶙对松说 From Lin Jin

我们从1967年第一次相遇在上海,经历了相识、相知和相爱.我知道,你就是上帝赐予我生命的另一半.我们在1970年元旦歩入婚姻!1970.11.25上帝赐予我们女儿欣、1973.7.11上帝又赐给我们儿子凯,这是一个“好”!我们一起经历风雨、共享快乐和幸福!今天,2017.1.3晚上7:30你安祥地睡在主耶稣的怀抱.

Ruosong, I’ll never forget meeting you so long ago in a very different time and place. Whilst everything was different then, you were the same gentle, kind man that everyone here knows today. It was easy to fall in love with you and easy to be married to you (most of the time). I think it is auspicious that we married on New Year’s Day in 1970 and that you died just after New Year’s Day in 2017. We were blessed to have our ‘pigeon pair’, our daughter Huang Xin, and three years later, our son, Huang Kai. In Chinese, when you combine the characters for a girl and for a boy, it creates a new character with a new meaning. Now, it means ‘good’, and that is what it was for us.

老公公,50年里发生的点点滴滴今后都是我每天最快乐的回忆!直到天家与你再见!
Dear Ruosong, over the last 50 years we have shared so many good times. I will treasure these memories and keep them safe until we meet again in Heaven.

追思我们的父亲 黄若松

Memory of our father Ruosong Huang

From Xin and Kai

父亲是位不善言辞的人。平时给人的印象是“惜字如金” 。家人朋友聚会的时候,很少加入讨论表达自己的观点。

Father was always a man of few words. He was soft spoken and gave the impression of being reserved. He chose each word with care. In Chinese we say “Xi Zi ru jin” which means ‘treasuring each word like gold’. When we had a gathering of family and friends, father rarely joined in the discussion.

这倒不是他不想参与,而是因业他精益求精的性格。父亲每次发言都要用很长时间组织语言,力求表达精确,没有废话。因此通常还没有组织好,大家就已经转移话题了。

But it is not that he didn’t have a point of view. It is just that he was such a perfectionist. He wanted to get every word and phrase correct in his head before he uttered it aloud. So very often, once he was ready to talk, we had already moved on to another topic.

尽管如此,父亲并不因此而放弃他的观点,他会继续思考,继续琢磨,甚至在聚会结束后还会去收集资料,继续考证并修正观点。

Nevertheless, father never felt discouraged, nor would he fail to deliver his opinion in time. He would continue to think, continue to ponder, even after people had left.

等过了一段时间后,想法成熟了,会突然从父亲口中蹦出来,经常把母亲说糊涂了,摸不到头。

Then after a while, when his thoughts about the topic finally came to fruition, they would just pop out, completely out of context, leaving mother totally bewildered.

家里只有我最懂父亲的思维模式,我会慢慢地从各个角度问出细枝未节,像拼图一样,等最后一片信息拼上了,才会弄懂父亲想表达的意思。

Only my brother and I understood how father processed information. I would ask him questions about what he said from different angles, putting it together like a puzzle. When the last piece of information was finally in place, we would understand what he was trying to say.

除此以外,父亲还会经常引用我们过去甚至是小时候说过的话以暗喻或借喻的方式来表达他的观点。

To make things even more confusing, father enjoyed quoting things that we had said, sometimes very far in the past, as a way of expressing his views.

脑子稍微慢一些就无法跟上父亲的节奏。母亲经常说血浓于水,子女能听懂父亲她却经常不知父亲的想法究竟是什么。

Mother often said that blood is thicker than water, children can understand their father, whilst their wives might get lost.

我最喜欢用苏小妹嘲笑苏东坡的长脸的一句诗来总结父亲这项特点: ”去年一滴相思泪,今年方流到口边。” 父亲想说的话通常要过上一段时间才能说出口的。

I like to use a poem from Su Xiaomei, a famous poet and statesman of the Song dynasty, to summarise father’s way of dealing with words:

“A tear drop shed for absent love last year, only arrives at the corner of the mouth this year.”

Su Xiaomei wrote this poem to tease her older brother, Su Shi, whose face was horse shaped, longer that what you would normally see. But it is suitable for my father too because it illustrates the amount of time it took for a thought to move from his mind to his mouth.

因为父亲言语不多,生活起居舒适与否全凭母亲猜测。

Because of father’s discretion with words, mother would often have to guess whether or not he felt comfortable.

母亲觉得冷了,打了一个喷嚏,不是给自己添件衣服,而是起身给父亲穿上背心;母亲觉得热了,背上出了些汗,不是替自己擦一下,而是起身给父亲擦背并换一件贴身内衣,顺便帮父亲脱下一件衣服;

When mother felt cold and sneezed, she assumed that father must be communicating with her telepathically and she get up and put more clothes on him. When mother felt hot, instead of cooling herself down, she would check that father didn’t need to take off a layer of clothes.

如果母亲觉得渴了,先替父亲倒满一杯水再去拿自己的水杯;如果母亲觉得饿了,先把父亲的点心小食拿出来放好,再坐下自己吃。

If mother felt thirsty, she would pour father a cup before reaching for her own drink; If mother felt hungry, she would bring father some snack food before sitting down and eating hers.

父亲起初还想反抗,强调说你觉得冷了我未必会觉得冷,偏偏要和母亲对着干,最常用的口头语就是:“就不!偏不!”。 有的时候母亲拗不过父亲,听之任之,结果常常是以父亲也跟着打了喷嚏而不得不添件衣服而告终。

At first, my father attempted to resist, actually using real, spoken words to tell her that just because she felt cold, didn’t mean that he felt cold. However, his words got him nowhere so he stopped complaining but would often contradict her opinion by doing the opposite of what she wanted (like taking off his jacket when she felt cold). Even the best men can be exasperating sometimes! Occasionally mother would give in and let him have his way. This usually resulted in father catching a cold and having to put on another layer anyway.

久而久之证明了母亲的判断大部分时候都是正确的,父亲慢慢地也就放弃了抵抗。平时也不再用小名“阿嶙”称呼母亲了,而是改用“老爷” 来称呼母亲了,表示臣服,果真是言简意赅。

Over time, father learned the meaning of the phrase “happy wife, happy life’. Also, mother was usually right anyway. He eventually ceded to mother’s rule, referring to her without cynicism as ‘her majesty’. Because she was a queen to him. No wonder they were married for 47 years…

我最佩服父亲的是他的勇气。面对医生直接了当的宣判, 面对不知还能否看到下一个日出的未来,父亲没有惊慌失措,没有怨天尤人。而是有条不紊地给朋友们和家人发了信息:

What we admire most about father is his courage. Facing his doctor’s straightforward verdict, realising that tomorrow may never come, father didn’t flinch. Instead, he calmly sent a farewell message to his beloved family and friends:

“ 我的疾病已到晚期,造血功能蓑竭,免疫功能低下。虽然这里的医生每月定期给我输血,这也只是一种临终关怀。耶稣在召唤我,我要提前谢幕了,如果忽然失联,不要感到奇怪,美好的回忆将永远伴隨我。”
“My illness has reached its final phase. I am now suffering from bone marrow failure. My immune system has stopped functioning. Although doctors here give me regular blood transfusions, this is just to help me feel comfortable. Jesus is calling me. I will have to take my leave from this earth at an earlier date than expected. Don’t be surprised if I am out of touch, precious memories will be with me forever.”

然后非常平静地继续原有的生活。认真地吃好每一粒药,认真地过好每一天。

Father then carried on with life in a quiet and tranquil way. He diligently followed the regime the doctor’s set for him, thereby maximising the time he had left, and made every day count.

是什么让父亲面对死亡如此镇静?是什么让他在这个时侯还能如此坦然地向远方的亲人朋友告别? 是父亲的修炼,是父亲的勇气。

What made him so calm in the face of death? What allowed him to farewell family and friends so fearlessly?   This is courage.

在生命的最后阶段接到了天父耶稣的感召,没有一丝惧怕,父亲主动要求医生放弃治疗。

In his final days, father saw Jesus coming to take him. Without a trace of fear, father told the doctors to stop treatment.

平静地和家人一起度过了最后一个新年夜,和家人一起迎来了最后一个新年2017年,和母亲一起度过了最后一个结婚经念日:47周年纪念日。

Calmly, father spent his last New Year’s eve with us; welcomed his last New Year’s day of 2017 with us; enjoyed his last wedding anniversary of 47 years with mother.

父亲于2017年1月3日在家人朋友牧师的陪伴下安详地离去归于主怀。

On January 3, 2017, accompanied by family and friends, with his pastor at his bedside praying for him, father peacefully left us to be with God.

父亲的勇气给了我们力量,在以后没有父亲的日子里,我们能够和母亲一起继续快乐生活,直到我们再见于天家。

Father ‘s courage gave us strength, and with his strength we are able to care for mother and get on with life happily until we meet again in Heaven.

录像:2017年1月6日追悼会

父亲轶事一则:

A short story about father

父亲从小喜欢吃藕粉。常说小孩子要有人疼才有口福。冲泡藕粉需要一定的技巧,并非人人能冲出一碗晶莹剔透的藕粉。小时候的父亲嘴巴很馋,常常想办法弄藕粉吃。那时候藕粉也算是奢侈品,不是家里常备的食品,想吃的话就要到店里去买。

Father loved to eat lotus root powder paste but it takes quite a bit of skill to make a good quality paste, not everyone can accomplish the task. He often said that a child is blessed if there is someone who can make it for them. Father had to rely on his big sister a lot to cook for him.

父亲就替奶奶捶腿扇扇子挣点零花钱换藕粉吃。捶300下腿,奶奶会给父亲1分钱;再扇300下扇子,奶奶会再给父亲1分钱。

Father would be rewarded with a cent for gently massaging his grandmother’s tired legs, and another cent for waving her fan for her to cool her down. Three hundred waves for a cent. I think she got a bargain!

用一分钱换十几克藕粉刚好能冲出一小碗;再用另外一分钱换一些白糖,和在藕粉里,甜甜的,回味无穷。

But it was worth it. With these two cents, father could buy a decent amount of lotus root powder and enough sugar to make a bowl of tasty paste.

买到了藕粉和糖,父亲就交给冰姐,冰姐煮开水冲藕粉给父亲吃。一分钱的藕粉放在碗里只刚刚铺满碗底,冰姐先是小心翼翼地加入一些凉水把藕粉调匀,然后再倒入滚滚烫的开水,藕粉就会神奇得从白色变成了透明的粉红色,加些糖就可以吃了。冰姐从来不会和父亲抢着吃,一碗全部留给父亲美美地吃。

His older sister would cook the paste for him by adding a little of bit cold water, just enough to melt down all the powder, then pour in boiling water, stirring quickly and the lotus root powder would miraculously turn into a half transparent paste. With some sugar, it was ready for father to eat. His older sister would sit aside and watch him eating.

尽管如此父亲还是觉得少,心里暗暗想,是不是在调匀藕粉时多加一些凉水就能多冲出一些呢?有一次,趁冰姐不注意,往藕粉里多加了一些凉水,调匀后倒入开水,却是稀稀的,怎么也调不出凝胶状的藕粉了。只好求助于冰姐,才知道凉水太多是不行的。

But a single bowl of lotus root paste was not enough to satisfy father. He wondered if he could produce more paste by simply adding more cold water. He put his theory into practice one day but was dismayed when the lotus root powder simply refused to turn into paste and became a watery mess. With no other option, father turned to his big sister for her magic touch.

冰姐点上炉子慢慢煮,把多余的水分都烧干了,才变成和原来差不多的一碗藕粉。从此父亲记住了这个道理,以后每次冲泡藕粉,都会严格按照冰姐的方法做。

His big sister didn’t laugh at him. Instead she told him that the secret of making good lotus root paste was to use as little cold water as possible. While talking, sister boiled the watery mess until all extra water was evaporated, and it turned into a bowl of paste again. Since then, father remembered this secret recipe and practiced it religiously.

临终前父亲还想吃藕粉,特地关照母亲:先用一点点凉水把藕粉调匀,然后再冲入滚滚烫的开水。

In his final days, father once more craved for lotus root paste. Watching mother adding the powder into a bowl, weak but clear, father said: “Remember, first to add a little bit of cold water just enough to melt the powder; then pour in boiling water bowl and stir it.”

 

 来自家乡的缅怀

Message from overseas

大姐黄若冰:From Ruosong’s sister Huang Ruobing:

若松是我们四姐弟中最幸福的一个:他是家庭盼来的第一个男孩子,上辈对他关爱有加,从小就有对他万分疼爱的奶妈给他悉心的照顾,和奶妈一家的亲情持续了一生。!

Brother Song was definitely the most blessed of the four siblings. He was the first born boy in our family and as a result very spoilt by his parents and grandparents. He was very well looked after by his nanny with whom he formed a lifelong bond.

他是一个好哥哥,从小到老都对若捷百殷谦让和无尽的照顾。工作后有信心,有能力做好份内事,还有理想有抱负去做自己想做的事,往往都能心想事成!

He was a good brother. He always took good care of his younger brother. He worked hard, dedicated himself to high standards and achieved most of his life goals.

成家后有一个贤惠又善良的妻子和一双有才能又孝顺的儿女。小家庭和睦又温馨,令人羡慕不已!

He married happily and raised a family of a son and a daughter, living a simple yet fulfilled life.

在新西兰的生活是多么浪漫而惬意啊!生活得丰富多彩而充满友情,最后还能在主爱的引导下回归我主的怀抱。真可谓此生无憾了。

After retirement, my brother moved to New Zealand starting a new life full of love, joy and friendship. Guided by God, eventually Ruosong was led to rest in peace with Him in paradise. What a wonderful life he lived! A life without regret.

 妻妹金珠 From sister-in-law Jin Zhu

松哥是沉默寡言但聪盈.睿智。有耐力也有定力,会下盲棋,很有水平。

Brother Song was a wise man of few words. I always admired his champion chess playing abilities. He was a determined man who never, ever gave up on his dreams.

外甥姚捷 From Ruosong’s nephew Yao Jie:

姨丈最大特色是学习新鲜事物的能力强,又肯钻研,八十年代早期就成为电脑工程师,在他的言传身教下,黄凯也取得出色的成绩。

My uncle’s most outstanding personality trait was his willingness and ability to learn new things. In the early 1980s, he made a big career shift to become a computer science engineer. Influenced by him, his son Huang Kai also went on to make outstanding achievements.

 

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Showing 2 comments

  • 老虎
    Reply

    真不容易啊。。。
    人走了,还得中英文的。

    • 饕餮世家
      Reply

      是啊,中外朋友都有呢。

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